SILOHBS: Dick Sniff Lookers

Daym, Gurr put that thing away, it staynk.  What thing?

     Hope you've got your perfume out, cuz this edition of "Stuff I Like Or Hate But Shouldn't" will leave a few of you scratching your heads, and others of you scratching your cooch with wonderment because the people I'm focusing on here are a true conundrum.  These folks (almost always white), are People Who Look Like They Smell Like Day Old Penis.  I know, it's strange, but so are these folks.  Don't worry, I'll provide examples of what I mean after the jump... but first, do I love or hate these DSL's (dick sniff lookers not dick sucking lips Shambles)?  Well, to be honest I...

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 ...........HATE People who look like they smell like day old dick.

I'm lookin' at 'choo, Aunt Jackie.

     Please-to let me explain these alien lifeforms before you shut off your computer and go gag somewhere.  I've noticed that the folks who fall under this scintillating category are more often than not dead ringers for some kinda white trash extra on My Name Is Earl. 

Lil' Devon Sawa's dream is 2 swim 4 Penn St. (2 Soon Pedo Shamz?)

     I think it goes back to my ancient white trash ancestors or something, but lots of times imbred rednex smell like tobacco and smeg-cheese, probably from all their trailer park bonin' and not showering.  Which isn't to say that the examples I'm about to give fall under this white trash non-shower smeg cheese trailer trash category... but look closely through the semi-celeb status they have and you'll see that they in fact do look like they might smell like day old dick.

Say (dick) cheese!

      The main four offenders of the dick-sniff smell look are Shane West, Devon Sawa, Thomas Dekker, and their queen in all her hepatitis C glory: Natasha Lyonne.  Notice how their eyes are beady and may or may not have brown cicles underneath from a lifetime of sniffing their own day old dick perfume.  Notice also how small and bland the lips look, resulting in Lisa Renna's that if viewed from the correct angle, could double as foreskin on a ween.

     

Talk about a cock to remember. I'd rather forget.  Me too, Mandy.

     Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against these four and their type personally, it's just pheromones or whatever that makes me dislike them so.  I'm sure they're perfectly lovely people in real life, Hep-C and all, so I know I shouldn't hate them... but like low fat everything, I just can't bring myself to friend them on Facebook.  The great Me once said; "If you look like a dick, and you smell like a dick, then you're prolly a dick"... and weiner and beef frankly, I got no room for dix in my life unless it's below your waste (and/or attached to Sam Jaeger).  

Thomas D is SUCH a dick!  No, he just looks like he smells like one.

     So go on and take what I've taught you and apply it to your life.  Then go down to the comments section and let me know some more examples of fux who look like they smell like day old dick.  Maybe then we can round them all up and have a dicktervention to rid their kind from making any bigger a hole in the ozone than they already have...  or atleast prove or disprove whether or not they really smell like they look.

P.S. -- Seriously though, why the beady eyes and pursed lips, Shane and Tommy D?  Have I discovered a conspiracy of ep-dick proportions?

     ----- Adrian Grenadick