Good Shitty Movies: I eats mine wit excra campy

We're not in Hogwarts anymore, Bitches

     Hey there, bird brains.  Adrian G here again (as always) with another hot flick that you NEED to peep ASAP.  This one's a festive flick with tittays, murduuuuh, and semi-hot nerds/gay stuff.  So please-to order now before all 2 copies get gobbled up, cuz you won't be disappointed in this flick's dressings to kill portions.  But what flick of poultergeist hilarity and terror could I be hinting at by making all these lame bird jokes?  Take flight with me past the jump to find out what fowl film has me shouting thanks to the heavens and giving all of your gravy flavored condom covered peckers shrinkage with these lame-stuffed gobbley puns....

ThanksKilling:

Anybody else getting hungry... For MURDER!?!

     This little gem is 85 minutes of pure hil-ot-mess-arity.   Like a good dead-baby joke, this masterpiece is offensively bad to most but hilariously awesome to everyone that matters.  The tagline alone... "A homicidal turkey axes off white college kids who don't respect Native Americans during Thanksgiving break" is like a trainwreck I'd give my left tit to witness.  But the shitty cast's acting and level of sassiness the Killer Turkey has is something to be desired as well. (I want Turkey to do a blog post on here one day... I can dream).  But back to reality.

    I was with Shamblina and Up Dog when I first discovered this treasure on Netflix streaming.  They only let me watch 10 minutes of it before they couldn't take both it and my cackling anymore, but the brief minnies I saw were more amazing than an all you can eat buffet in a padded cell with no way out.  They said I was an idiot for loving this dreckitude so much, I say they're bitches because this shit is so terrible it's hilarious.  I literally had tears streaming down my face as is per usual during times of great joy, like when a 50 piece nugget tray from Chik-Fil-A is put out before me and no one else is around to see me eat it all.

     The movie was shot over 11 days in college by these two dudes who I wouldn't kick out of bed on a budget of $3,500 (which went to food I'm assuming), and opens with a pair of floppy pilgrim tittays for those that like those things.  As usual no spoilers here (as if you'd care) but I will provide some hot mess dialogue to wet your gizzards for this opus...

     Darren: Looks like I got something you don't, Turkey!
     The Killer Turkey: What's that Darren... a vagina? 

     The Killer Turkey: Nice tits, bitch! 

and one of my personal faves...

     (after The Killer Turkey screws a chick doggie style with a gravy flavored condom and she has no idea it's him boning her now and not her stupid hotish boyfriend)

     The Killer Turkey: You just got stuffed!

     In addition to this Shakespearean text there's the tagline, "Gobble Gobble Motherfucker", as well as a sequence where the Killer Turkey puts on a pair of those mustache-nose glasses, then with said disguise, completely fools an idiot into thinking he's a bible salesman or something and then kills the man (who's also dressed as a turkey to throw our villian off track... or something).  Furthermore, there's a scene where (from what I could tell since i was laughing too hard and being berated by Up Dog and Shamblina) the Killer Turkey (in disguise again) pretends to be a male prosty and goes down on a John before he kills him... or something.

     Seriously folks, give this shitshow a shot.  It's not like there are any other slasher movies to watch for the Thanksgiving season.  The peeps who made it did so knowing it was a shambled mess like no other... and that's the point.  So sit back with your popcorn-covered turkey legs and enjoy this epic tale on Netflix streaming before the rumored SEQUEL set in space comes out... all the cool kids will thank(sKilling) you for it.

View the trailer here (if you dare)

See the imdb page here (if you have the nuggets)