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| If I was a hooker, this would be my bidness card. |
A'ight kids, Adrian Grenadine is back after my long weekend of being lazy, drinkin' pumpkin ale, and meeting new peeps. So what better way to celebrate a return to hell known as the work week then to discuss some boner makin' topics? Well... one topic, but it's worth all the blood in the world flowing to all the nethers you can find. So pop on in here like a baby cooch after applying Desitin and see what's got my bones rattlin' in an upward direction this time...
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BONER PATROL HAS AN ALL DIX BULLETIN OUT FOR.... HOT DADS
Ok so hear me out. Hot Dad's are hot (obvi), but for more than just their hotness. For women, hot dad's are great because they care for their children or whatever, and that makes them that much hotter. For Gays, hot Dad's are like carbs, AKA taboo, and thus all the more appealing.
What gay guy's ween sauce doesn't melt when he sees some Ryan Phillippe type walking hand in hand with his little boy? Other than wishing we were said little boy, it's just adorable to see a manly man (or manboy like Ryan P) out being paternal for all eyes to see. Not only that, it's movies like Little Children that make us want to have a torrid affair on the washing machine with Patrick Wilson while our kids are asleep in the other room. Of course that sounds really gross and freaky, especially if the kids wake up... but in theory it's worthy of the boner patrol giving it a little look-see or at least a few tugs on the ole' vein burrito.
Who hasn't gotten a little moist in the culottes seeing Sam Jaeger on Parenthood playing dressup with his daughter slash talking to said daughter's class about play dates and juice boxes? In addition to wanting 20 of said juice boxes and having our own play date with SJ's ween, were he not a dad his hotness would be lessened to luke warm but still "dayum lemme tap dat" status. If only there were a stadium with beds set aside for these illicit affairs, it'd be called the Daddy Complex and you could charge for beer and therapy for all your indiscretions of paternal rape... a boy can dream.
So to wrap up this brief post like a condom on a Dad dick, the next time you see a hot Dad in the streets, try to suppress your bone and/or lady bulge, because hot Dad's know their powers... and like cat butt in your face, they WILL flaunt/present it to get a rise outta you and your fleshy parts... but that's why the Boner Patrol is here, cuz Adrian Grenadine laik it
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BONER PATROL HAS AN ALL DIX BULLETIN OUT FOR.... HOT DADS
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| Preez-to stick it in. (Nice swimsuit, Kate) |
What gay guy's ween sauce doesn't melt when he sees some Ryan Phillippe type walking hand in hand with his little boy? Other than wishing we were said little boy, it's just adorable to see a manly man (or manboy like Ryan P) out being paternal for all eyes to see. Not only that, it's movies like Little Children that make us want to have a torrid affair on the washing machine with Patrick Wilson while our kids are asleep in the other room. Of course that sounds really gross and freaky, especially if the kids wake up... but in theory it's worthy of the boner patrol giving it a little look-see or at least a few tugs on the ole' vein burrito.
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| Replace kid with me & green thing with ween. Also, remove shirt. |
So to wrap up this brief post like a condom on a Dad dick, the next time you see a hot Dad in the streets, try to suppress your bone and/or lady bulge, because hot Dad's know their powers... and like cat butt in your face, they WILL flaunt/present it to get a rise outta you and your fleshy parts... but that's why the Boner Patrol is here, cuz Adrian Grenadine laik it
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