Project Runway Redux - Farts And Shafts

Envy us, Bitches... We all have huzbenz, & Ur just fat.

     Fashions, turn to the left.  Fashions, now turn to the right.  Oooooohhhaaaah FASHIONS!  Thank you, that intro brought to you by David Bowie and my lack or originality (hey I added an "s" to "fashion" (twice!) so it's not entirely ripped off.  Speaking of ripped off, this week's episode was like a strip of wax on a lady cooch during a Brazilian, painfully obvious as to who was going home, and certainly worth the pain.  So like said cooch-strip, let's just go ahead and tear into this episode and hope the pain doesn't leave any scars or "is that herpes?" bumps on our nethers.

     As always though, be warned... there be spoilers about who won, and who went home this week (at the end of the post in the SPOILER ZONE), so don't say I didn't warn you like that one time you tried to catch crabs with your cooch, not realizing they were already there (Two diff types of crabs Shambles)... NTWayz, if you read something you didn't want to know, it's not my fault.  Now on to that Refux...

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     This week's challenge was to design shitty avant garde fashions based on shitty paintings by ghetto kids or something. Please-to prepare for tons of I don't give a shits... And go!

Anthony Auld: Boi is getting gayer and gayer by the week.  No complaints hurr, Hunty.
                       FASHIONS - Like it, kinda love it, the paint dripping effect is faboosh.

Anya Chee: She's safe, I've just assumed at this point she's in the final three.  Go sex tapes!
                   FASHIONS - Most avant garde of all of them, weird lookin'.  Good job, slut.

Becky Ross: I can't stand this bitch's hair, so until she cuts it or she gets cut, I'm done.
                   FASHIONS - Unlike you, it's pretty interesting,  Kinda safe though.

Bert Keeter: Ur a boring dick, and no matter how often U talk to Ur famz, I want you gone.
                    FASHIONS - Every clown in the world called, and even they think it's ugz.

Bryce Black: Boring, lame, & unattractive. My thoughts won't change, please-to go home.
                    FASHIONS - Boring, nice colors... but lame.  Enjoy the trip home, Idiot.

Joshua Christensen: Am I the only 1 who literally feels pain when he pretend to B straight?
                                FASHIONS: Not terrible, but not avant garde either.  Later, Baldilox.

Joshua McKinley: Still can't stand you.  But you're safe this week so let's move on.
                            FASHIONS - Weird, but not terrible.  Please-to fix those eyebrows.

Kimberly Goodson: Sassy bitch keep workin' it.  Luz you.  Might be you for Halloween.
                              FASHIONS - Damn Gurl, I love it.  Work that bird shit.  Ferosh!

Laura Kathleen: I luz you, Gurl, but you always sound like Ur drunk or something.  Plus 2!
                          FASHIONS - I like it, yellow's not my fave, but you should be in the top.

Olivier Green: It's called a full sentence, dumbass.  Spit it out, and stop with the accent.

                       FASHIONS - Boring and lame, like you.  Snooze alert!

Viktor Luna: I like you more each week, but that doesn't necessarily mean I like you.                     FASHIONS - Not amazing, but classy.  Glad you're safe this week.

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       GUEST JUDGE...

Kenneth Cole:   Gettin' mad pedo creep vibe from you, Ken. And usually that's a turn on for me, not this time.  Take from that what you will, but at least he knows what he's talking about unlike former fat-asses judges whose name rhymes with "Tim Margashian".
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!!! SPOILER ZONE !!!

TOP THREE (tee hee) --- Megabrows, Laura, Anthony

           WINNER --- Mah Boifren... Anthony

           SHOULDA WON --- Any of the fat hoez on Top Model --- Anthony

BOTTOM THREE (tee hee) --- Closet case Joshua, Bert (thank God), Bore-livier

                     OUTED --- Sean William Scott --- Baldilox

                     SHOULDA GOTTEN THE LOUBOUTIN BOOT --- Always BERT!

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     So what'd you think?  Sad that Bert's shitshow outfit didn't get the boot it deserved?  Happy that Anthony has immunity next week so I get to pretend-molest him in the Redux at least two more times?  Mad that Olivier isn't admitting that he's really a corpse of boredom?  Did you laugh when... yeah I didn't laugh either but was glad I didn't have to get mad at Nina Garcia for her shitty opinions as she had the week off for God knows what fashion related reason (I'm guessing she had the shits, but that's just me).  Most importantly though, do you agree or disagree with my thoughts and/or what really went down like a Kardashian at a black church?  Let me know in the comments.

                        
          Was auch immer, Schlampen (whatever, Sluts)

                      ----- "A" Greno...