Kiki & Adrian's Shambled Truths: Misery 101

Which way to the buffet?

    'Sup knuckleheads?  Adrian here as always bringing your lard-infused asses a brand spankin' new feature called "Kiki & Adrian's Shambled Truths".  It ain't rocket science or anything, just a collection of truths on life (namely ours) that Kiki and I have come to during our many gchat sessions.  Don't be fooled, this isn't "Gchats U Wish U Wrote", just commandments similar to the Rules and Reguweightions of the Fat Club to help you realize that, like Shambles through the hourglass, these are the mottos of our lives.  With that in mind, these truths might not apply to your life, but if you're reading this blog then something tells me they probably do.  Enjoy...

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Just another Sunday morning in Shamblevania.  Kiki stop smokin!

  Now without further ado, here be 5 lil' nuggetz of truth Kiki and I are less than happy to share with the intenets world...
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ADRIAN:  I've just come to the conclusion that no matter what happens, neither of us will be happy.

Kiki:  It's because of our crazy.  We over-analyze everything until it's ruined or we go insane.

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KIKI: We just need to go for things and people we like and believe we deserve good things, not people that aren't into us.

ADRIAN:  Exactly, though when i changed my facebook status, [potential boo] immediately texted and was like, "oh my god are you ok?"  so i guess he cares or whatever, maybe I should drive my car into a wall so that he actually calls. #small victories

KIKI: Thats like "maybe I should try to kill myself so he'll notice me".  Me and Alicia Silverstone from that movie "The Crush" can totally relate.

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ADRIAN: Even if I'm deaf in one ear, coughing my lungs out, and hitting rock bottom like I am now with the T-virus, I know you're life is probably more Shambled.  How are you?

KIKI:  I may or may not have eaten 10 pieces of maple bacon this morning.  So all of the above is true.

ADRIAN:  This is why we're friends.

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ADRIAN:  I think I'm going crazy, or maybe I'm just trying to pull a double reverse: I make you think I'm crazy so you call the clinic and really it was all a big ruse to get you to committ yourself.

KIKI: Yeah but you see I'm too smart.  I avoid committment at all costs.  ZING!

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ADRIAN: I've reached a new low in my misery, I'm now "Catfishing people".  Which isn't as nasty as it sounds.

KIKI: It really isn't. You've got no idea how many people online think I'm Kate Beckinsale.

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To me and Kiki, it's always Taco Tuesday.

     So there you have it, just a few tidbits of truth from the well-fed mouths of Kiki and Adrian.  If this new post is a Rihanna's face hit, you might see more of it in the future, for as long as there are buffet's to destroy and people to make Kiki and I feel "less-than", there's always gonna be shambled truths to share with the world.

Much carbs love,

   ---- Adrian G and Kiki Saint Beaver