The Bitch List: Shhh... I'm Droppin' D's Hurr

It's called the Men's Room for a reason, Poo-lette!

     Cross those legs and hide that toilet paper on your shoe, Adrian Grenadine is here as always to add another name to the (like Kim Kardashian's cooch) ever widening scroll of paper known as "The Bitch List".  Tis' the holiday season, so like Santa I've made this list, checked it twice, and still can't scratch this edition's offender off the naughty side.  But why, you axe?  Well you'll just have to read on to find out.  But here's a clue, the ones being christened on my Bitch List this time are taking things they shouldn't in a place they're not allowed, and frankly, what they're doing is pretty shitty.  And it's my duty (tee hee) to put them back in their place...

The Bitch List: Runnin' Nowhere Loudly

Mmm Hmm... I will weave side-pony ur bitch ass back tude-uh hood.

     Happy hobags, you Slut-faced Simbajaws twins... The Bitch List is back with three hot-fresh topics worthy of my immaculate bitchery this week.  Topics deal with neglected animals owned by douchelord asswads, mini-mills of death which should never see the light of day for fear of killing everything in it's sights with Ugly Betty Moment pollution, and wraps up condom style with people who, like countless procedurals on CBS with initials in their titles, just need to fuqing die and go away already as enough is enough!  Whew, let me calm down, don't wanna blow my wad Lohan style up front.  But please-to do know that since you all got dicked yesterday with only one post, I'm gonna make the ones today a bit longer to satisfy the void-holes left in your carnal desire-parts.  So keep reading to see the specifics on the top three things worthy of my bitchitude...

The Bitch List: Useless Dino Tormentors

Dammit, Wendy... Ah said QUADRUPLE BACON!

     If I had a dollar for every time someone's already pissed me off this week, I'd be living in the Hogwarts Castle drinking unborn leopard juice from a diamond encrusted goblet of fire (yes I'm aware it's only Monday).  But alas I can only single out the top three things worthy of my bitchery thus far.  So before my bitch-boner wears off, why don't we just get to it after the jump...?

The Bitch List: Donating Feathered Barricades

Then I let him gap-tooth fuq me... yeah, that small.

     Hey there, Ween Faces and Vag Heads.  We're back for another week of mayhem and bacon nomming.  And in case you have the memory of Amy Winehouse after a rehab lesson (too soon?), let me remind you of the shorter, yet better like a hyper-mini-dick posts from here on out.  Cuz like a 6 year old with ADD and a bad herpes infection, I know not everyone has a big attention span.  But enough gabbin' about post-toddler herpes, we got some bitchin' to do.  And this week we're sticking with 3 bitches, one of which (#2) is the queen of my bitchlist.  So jump in this shit and see what's already getting the sour end of my bitch dick this week...

The Bitch List: Rudely Hideous Guyphones

Dick joke Fail!  Hey, Boo... prove me wrong preez.

     It's a good thing I'm not your period, cuz I'm late as hell on this post... I realize this.  So don't hate a hobag preez, I been in mammal perils of the car-shambles kind (as I mentioned earlier in the week) and things is fuxed up.  But trust, the baby Bitch List post I been gestating this excra day is well worth the strength it took to override those 47 morning-after pills you took.  For surreal though, the car Shamz are mostly over with now, and I'm hoping next week I can get back on schedule and introduce the new features meant for debut this week.
     N T Wayz... better late than never as my OBGYN is fond of saying... so the Bitch List is back again to let you know of the top three things that, like a vending machine without bacon-flavored Funyuns, are pissing me off this week.  So sit back, relax your middle roll, and click onward to get to the well deserved bitchin'...

The Bitch List: Weightless Transforming Poop

Blessed be

     This week is more of a shit list then a bitch one, so bless all those in the path of the bitch list this time around.  But don't lose your shit just yet if you're confused, once you see the top three things I'm bitching about you'll better understand.  Because while two of the topics are related to shitty things, one of them literally helps to get it out into the world.  Now, without further apoo, I give you the top three bitchworthy things that, like an evil fiberless turd that just won't go away, really make my ass angry...

The Bitch List: Acting like ya wheels aint rude

We are superior... even that Jewy guy on the right.  Fear my swoop.

     Oh man, oh man, oh man... lotsa bitching to do this week (why won't these hobags just go away forever?).  For this weeks shramblefest, two out of the three things that need to be silenced forever for their transgressions against my existence are moron-in-control-of-automobile related... but I won't spoil all the fun before the jump.  So click onward-ho to see all the uncensored boobage carnage, and join me in my fight against this descending order of douches and douchettes who think they're superior than the rest of us normal-looking people and can do what they want without thinking about us minions of lard...

The Bitch List: Wash off the pests with jokes

This means anger... don't make me show you pissed

     Oh man are you fellow Shamblers and Shamblette's in for a tater-tot sized treat today.  Not only am I in yet another festive mood, but it's time for the second edition of The Bitch List (this truly is the g-spot of my week).  So enough gabbin', let's take the jump and do some bitching...

The Bitch List

Fine, I'll rent 27 Dresses, just get outta here!

     Every week we here at the Shamblettes are gonna list (at least) the top three things that are ruining our lives and keeping us from our daily eating and tanning habits (no matter how untimely they may be).  The people/places/things/ideas filling our lives with shambles that make this list just need to GO AWAY so we can nom our carbs in peace.  So here you have it, the first of many Bitch Lists to come...(whattaya mean X-Men isn't all about my character?)...