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| OMGaga! I know right, Fassbender's got some surryous ween! |
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Previously on Hideous Little Liars: Alison has voodoo dolls haunting her pre-death, Em has something in "this box" (slut), Hanna can't drive or involve KeanuCaleb, the STD club or whatever are the only ones in the yearbook that both look 40, and got to use their headshots, Noel (gush) broke up with Mona and she doesn't know why (it's cuz he's gay), Holden is (see Noel's reason for breaking up with Mona), Simbajaws Toby is still alive for some reason and it's making me gag, ditto regarding KeanuCaleb... and now on to the show...
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----- Hanna, you been bonin' KeanuCaleb far too long because you've started wearing those stupid hats he does and it's making me think less of you... though on you it looks kinda good so maybe I should just eat away the pain.
----- Good lord, this damn Alison/Ian sex murder video, how many times and angles were taken of this thing? It's starting to feel like this is that freaky 8mm flick with Nick Cage about snuff films, more than an uneven drama with more holes in it's plausibility/plot than it's four main Hobags' between-the-legs zones.
----- Great, secret exposition meeting of the NIT club, so glad the quality on that shitty secret cam is better than the TV I'm watching said shitfest on... FML.
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----- "She's unable to come to the phone right now". Good one, Em. That's what I say when a stranger calls for my Mom when I'm home alone and I'm 10 years old. Also, Ugg-face can clearly see through the Panoramic-view providing windows (everyone in Rosewood seems to have) that Spencer is there. Also Also, I don't want you to get in between Spencer and Toby either, Emily... I don't feel like throwing up the 45 pounds of pizza I just crammed into my face to get ready for dinner.
----- Damn, Aria, I can only hope that the last time you saw Mr Fitz was the last time you'll ever see him, because frankly I don't wanna see him ever again either. Is it too much to axe that you go away forever next?
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| This hideous face brought to you by SPRINT. |
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| Shomme Ur tits! Wait, I've got this backwards again (lowers shirt). |
----- Good lord, this damn Alison/Ian sex murder video, how many times and angles were taken of this thing? It's starting to feel like this is that freaky 8mm flick with Nick Cage about snuff films, more than an uneven drama with more holes in it's plausibility/plot than it's four main Hobags' between-the-legs zones.
----- Great, secret exposition meeting of the NIT club, so glad the quality on that shitty secret cam is better than the TV I'm watching said shitfest on... FML.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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| Hanna why u not drinkin' mini-water like us? I prefer bacon grease. |
----- Great, Simbajaws Toby is back, and he brought his 1950's, piss-gold colored, low rider truck that he got from his Mexican drug lord. Who knew Rosewood was so close to the intersection of 21 Jump Street and Who-The-Fuq-Is-He-Trynna-Fool Boulevard?
----- "She's unable to come to the phone right now". Good one, Em. That's what I say when a stranger calls for my Mom when I'm home alone and I'm 10 years old. Also, Ugg-face can clearly see through the Panoramic-view providing windows (everyone in Rosewood seems to have) that Spencer is there. Also Also, I don't want you to get in between Spencer and Toby either, Emily... I don't feel like throwing up the 45 pounds of pizza I just crammed into my face to get ready for dinner.
----- Damn, Aria, I can only hope that the last time you saw Mr Fitz was the last time you'll ever see him, because frankly I don't wanna see him ever again either. Is it too much to axe that you go away forever next?
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| Hey, Useless party of 2, Mind the DHARMA station in the background. |
UPDATE: Not gay, just got jungle fever... bitch is pulling an Emily and hittin' it with a 47 year old black chick posing as a high school student... or is he?
----- Really? What are the odds of KeanuCaleb looking at Mexi-Cop's STD club snuff film, then pausing it and low and behold La Cucaracha is sitting two feet in front of him? If only I lived in Rosewood, that way I could go online and when I looked up from my laptop, Jake Gyllenhaal and Sam Jaeger would be having sex with each other while Noel Kahn offered me a groupon to McDonalds.
----- And this week's nominee for something said that doesn't mean what I'm thinking goes to Emily for the following opus, followed shortly by Hanna to bring it home: "In the video Garrett looked in the box, and saw something weird. Wouldn't you like to know what it was?"... "No, we've already seen what we need to see". In case you're still confused... pretty sure Garrett saw a clitoris.
----- Ugh, another flashback where everyone remembers stuff that they never remembered even though if they had we coulda saved ourselves like 12 episodes. Whatever, at least we get to see Hefty Hanna again in her "fat suit", AKA a shitty pillow shoved up her
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| Hey Gurl, it's Beetlejuice... I want my everything back. |
----- Damn Noel, why you gotta be so mean to MonA? Stop trynna hide your gay by bashing her awesome. Also, of course you been calling Hanna for two days, Mona... but she didn't know it was you cuz you wrote stuff like "I will kill you", and signed it "A". That little flub aside, your side pony is mad ferocia this week as usual. Go on, bitch, work that shit like it's overtime.
----- I hope I'm the next girl Noel Kahn decides to dump all over (literally?). Also, not so-subtle Noel Kahn clue about his eyes being so pretty. SIDE NOTE: Why is blindilox hiding in the twa-lette? Does she think that's where Noel Kahn shits on Hobags? Cuz if so, she's in my stall.
----- "If you come that means that there's still a chance for us." No, Aria... that means he's done and it's time for you to call a cab.
----- Toby climbing this tower thing that "A" loosened in last ep's Tag better mean SimbaJaws is boutta do his best Meryl Streep impression from "Death Becomes Her" (anyone?). Shitty "action shot" aside (clearly not a stunt double), it's wrong that I"m smiling so much from his shark ass falling to the ground in fear. Oh wait, no it's not.
----- "Jenna would kill, and eat, her own mother to get back at us". Reason 238 why I love Hanna, she can even turn murder into something food related.
----- Of course you know what it's like to be haunted, Jenna... you look like some kinda friggen witch in that black getup and pedo-glasses. Angelica Hustin would be proud
----- Lissy uo, Holden, not only do Aria's friends think your gay, but everyone with vision (and even Blind Jenna) thinks you're gay too.
----- Oooh diversity... even though this Indian kid is the worst, and his story that he wrote sounds about as lame as that shitty quote he threw on Fitz like jizz, it's nice to see something other not white/not Maya speaking on this show for longer than two seconds. Cue musical montage, fake as hell rain, and eye roll from me and anyone else who isn't 13.
----- How is it that British Wren looks younger every time we see him? And in what universe does anyone care, Toby, that you "...may have broken your left arm, but your right arm is fine"? I know that was supposed to be a threat, but it sounded more like some kinda Chinese torture since it didn't make me think of you punching British Wren so much as you punching your own nethers 13-year-old-boy style. SHUDDER!
----- Could it be that I was wrong? Is "A" Noel Kahn and Jenna, not Noel Kahn and Mona? If that's so then that's lame, but not as lame as the music on this episode. Good God the vegans and lactose intolerant fux must be shitting all over themselves right about now from all this musical cheese. Speaking of which, the whole Aria and Fitz making out in the rain in the street to said shitty music is not only cheesy as hell, but also, those bitches are holding up traffic... and that's rude, not romantic!
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----- Again with the windows that show the world? Also again with Toby's shiteous truck. I seriously hope they find his dead body in there or something... nope, just a stupid note. Hopefully this time he'll stay gone forever.
TAG: "A" has a new secret sex dungeon for his/her/their pictures. I'm hoping the fact that the pics are being cut in half to separate the couples depicted within means I'm still right about Mona, and bitch is boutta go on a rampage to destroy all love except that which Hanna has for all things edible. Here's to hoping.
VERDICT: This episode was like two fat people trying to have sex: slow, and not that satisfying because so little movement occurred. And that's my final word on that. But at least Butt-Chinned New Jason was gone for another week. Hopefully he'll be gone next week too and we'll have been free of his chinny clutches 3 times in a row... that's a turkey right! Mmm, turkey.
Don't really have a final verdict on this ep as nothing new really happened in my opinion. Maybe next week will change that.
Threat-text ya' later,
"A" - greno.
----- I hope I'm the next girl Noel Kahn decides to dump all over (literally?). Also, not so-subtle Noel Kahn clue about his eyes being so pretty. SIDE NOTE: Why is blindilox hiding in the twa-lette? Does she think that's where Noel Kahn shits on Hobags? Cuz if so, she's in my stall.
----- "If you come that means that there's still a chance for us." No, Aria... that means he's done and it's time for you to call a cab.
----- Toby climbing this tower thing that "A" loosened in last ep's Tag better mean SimbaJaws is boutta do his best Meryl Streep impression from "Death Becomes Her" (anyone?). Shitty "action shot" aside (clearly not a stunt double), it's wrong that I"m smiling so much from his shark ass falling to the ground in fear. Oh wait, no it's not.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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| Ugh, whattayoo mean U won't kill yourself? |
-----Dammit, SimbaJaws is still alive. Of course he is, you can't ever kill the hideous monster can you? Oh cool, British-Wren is back, it's been a while since I saw some uncircumcised ween. Oh "A", please don't make promises to kill Toby that you can't keep. Here's to hoping someone pulls the cord or whatever while he's stuck up in bed.
----- "Jenna would kill, and eat, her own mother to get back at us". Reason 238 why I love Hanna, she can even turn murder into something food related.
----- Of course you know what it's like to be haunted, Jenna... you look like some kinda friggen witch in that black getup and pedo-glasses. Angelica Hustin would be proud
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| Just tell me the truth, Hanna. Ok... you suck. |
----- Game time: The following exchange between KeanuCaleb and Hefty Hanna is regarding what? KC: "I decoded another segment... Just tell me what these videos are all about and stop making me imagine the worst". HH: "Look, whatever you imagine isn't as bad as it really is". ** If you guessed "Human Centipede", you win.
SIDE NOTE: I know it's tempting, Hanna... but just because you put something in a blender (in this case a flash drive) DOESN'T mean it's gonna make a smoothie. Trust me, I've tried.
----- Oh yeah, Aria has a Mom... I forgot. Too bad that same memory loss on my part doesn't happen for half the people on this show when they appear and pretend to act. Also, just cuz your parents don't want to go to a cabin ever again, Aria, doesn't mean you should try and plan some secret vacation to said cabin. Didn't you learn anything from the last cabin you went to? Hello, Lucas acted weird for no reason and Hanna tried to kill him. Better yet, go ahead to the cabin, bring Ezra, and tell him to act weird for no reason. Then follow Hanna's lead.
SIDE NOTE: I know it's tempting, Hanna... but just because you put something in a blender (in this case a flash drive) DOESN'T mean it's gonna make a smoothie. Trust me, I've tried.
----- Oh yeah, Aria has a Mom... I forgot. Too bad that same memory loss on my part doesn't happen for half the people on this show when they appear and pretend to act. Also, just cuz your parents don't want to go to a cabin ever again, Aria, doesn't mean you should try and plan some secret vacation to said cabin. Didn't you learn anything from the last cabin you went to? Hello, Lucas acted weird for no reason and Hanna tried to kill him. Better yet, go ahead to the cabin, bring Ezra, and tell him to act weird for no reason. Then follow Hanna's lead.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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| Before you die... you see this thing. (please die) |
----- Hey, Toby... the only thing that's more possible than Spencer falling for someone else (who's a doctor and British), is everything.
----- Lissy uo, Holden, not only do Aria's friends think your gay, but everyone with vision (and even Blind Jenna) thinks you're gay too.
----- Oooh diversity... even though this Indian kid is the worst, and his story that he wrote sounds about as lame as that shitty quote he threw on Fitz like jizz, it's nice to see something other not white/not Maya speaking on this show for longer than two seconds. Cue musical montage, fake as hell rain, and eye roll from me and anyone else who isn't 13.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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| Oh, Hanna, a pearl necklace... really? |
----- Oh yeah, Hanna has a mom too. So glad that the more Hanna eats, the less her mom does. Bitch is lookin' totes menopause-rexo.
----- How is it that British Wren looks younger every time we see him? And in what universe does anyone care, Toby, that you "...may have broken your left arm, but your right arm is fine"? I know that was supposed to be a threat, but it sounded more like some kinda Chinese torture since it didn't make me think of you punching British Wren so much as you punching your own nethers 13-year-old-boy style. SHUDDER!
----- Could it be that I was wrong? Is "A" Noel Kahn and Jenna, not Noel Kahn and Mona? If that's so then that's lame, but not as lame as the music on this episode. Good God the vegans and lactose intolerant fux must be shitting all over themselves right about now from all this musical cheese. Speaking of which, the whole Aria and Fitz making out in the rain in the street to said shitty music is not only cheesy as hell, but also, those bitches are holding up traffic... and that's rude, not romantic!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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| I'm smiling cuz I don't have to look at her. Jenna's lucky. |
----- Runner up this week for conversation that doesn't mean what it sounds like it means, but it's revolting either way, goes to Aria and Mr. Fitz for the following: Aria: "I didn't know if you'd come." Mr. Fitz: "I didn't either. Aria this is dangerous for the both of us, but I'm more worried about you... I wanna make sure that this, that us is what you want." Aria: "Well there's only one place where I can be sure of that." Mr. Fitz: "Where?". Aria: "My ass". Ok, that last bit from Aria didn't happen, but you gotta admit it still fits (literally I'm sure).
----- Of course KeanuCaleb made a copy. As much as I hate you KC, that was smart. Also, why does everyone one this show say "I need something from you" and then when the other person says "what?", they say "answers." Just be like, "Tell me what I wanna know, Slutrags." and call it a day already.
----- I like that these beeches are keeping something from Hanna... cuz I'm pretty sure she's keeping about 45 pounds of hidden snax from them. Also, really Dead Ian? "Once you're a member of the club, you're always a member of the club". What are you like 8 years old? Unless said "club" is "Over-eaters Anonymous" without that "anonymous" part... those rules don't really apply to me or anyone else who semi gives a shit. ----- Of course KeanuCaleb made a copy. As much as I hate you KC, that was smart. Also, why does everyone one this show say "I need something from you" and then when the other person says "what?", they say "answers." Just be like, "Tell me what I wanna know, Slutrags." and call it a day already.
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| Why, Toby? Why? |
TAG: "A" has a new secret sex dungeon for his/her/their pictures. I'm hoping the fact that the pics are being cut in half to separate the couples depicted within means I'm still right about Mona, and bitch is boutta go on a rampage to destroy all love except that which Hanna has for all things edible. Here's to hoping.
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| Hey Y'all, I can't act & I'm like 12. I want a golden goose too, datty! |
Don't really have a final verdict on this ep as nothing new really happened in my opinion. Maybe next week will change that.
Threat-text ya' later,
"A" - greno.
certainly like your website but you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the reality then again I will certainly come back again.
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