Is it in yet? -- Poop Purses

I'll take that as a yes

     Hey kids, this little gem is a recurring post I'll have about fashions!  Anyone who knows me knows that other than what I learn from watching Project Runway (still bitter), this and this and this are fashion to me.  But I thought I'd go out on a limb and combine my lack of fashion sense with my powers of evil and predict the next big thing that needs to hit stores.  So here goes...

   
        POOP PURSES!!!  Now hear me out, if you know me, (me again) you know that I have a weird fascination/fear of poop, but if I see one more putz walking their dog with a shit-filled plastic bag in hand I might do this, or this or... this.  So why not look hot while carrying your dog's steaming pile of Bieber? 

     Here's how it works.  It looks like a regular old purse, but on the inside there's what I call a hot pocket.  It's a pocket reserved to hold that mixed bag of turds while keeping your hands free for their sole purpose.  

     Picture it, you're walking your mutt and then it drops it like it's hot, then you reach into the hot pocket for your plastic bag, scoop with the no hands technique, then put the turd back into your purse with the rest of your crap.  Now you're walking your dog lookin' exclusive and not like an idiot carrying a bag of shit. NOTE: (Boys don't make these with girls holding fee-ceez)

     "But why would you put a shadoobie in your purse to begin with" you ask?  Well the answer is simple, other than to keep your hands free, it's a security device.  Face it, Bruiser isn't gonna protect you when this or this or this is coming at you.  So in the vain [sic] of the poo stick (love it), you've got an instant bomb to throw at your assailant all prepackaged and ready for departure so that you aren't a victim.  Or, if your purse gets stolen, the (alleged) assailant will find a nice little treasure waiting for them next to your Curves membership card.  Just make sure you don't wait too long to dispose of the goods (ugh) when you get home, no one wants to rummage through your purse looking for Dr. Pepper lipsmackers only to find kibbles and bits al dente.