Shambletorial: When PC Turns Racist

So that's where the holy water cums from.  Damn u fine, Blondie

     Yo Yo YO bitches and Hoes... for some reason I've decided it's February and I'm on a Black History vibe this week.  So if you're not in to all that, take your racist ass away til' next week cuz I've got a few posts which deal with the issues, but make sure you're not gone for too long cuz once I go black I DO go back.  And fret not closet racists, this blog isn't gonna turn in to Jet Magazine or anything because I hate on all races equally, and all people equal.  I'm an equal opportunity hater and caynt nothin' change that... but this post isn't about hating, it's about discussin'.   
     Anywayz, back to the point of all this.  I've written a Shambletorial about a topic that's close to my bacon wrapped heart, even though that heart fuels 300 pounds of white meat... but just cuz I'm not everything Precious doesn't mean I can't talk about those who are and the people who look like me who wrong them and vice-versa.  So pop on in here like a priest in a ballpit of pre-teen bois and try and see what all the racist muff is about... cuz at the end of the day we all need a lesson in diversity...
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What's more terrifying is that zombie Bambi on the dresser.

     Brief intro summary:  If you agree or disagree with what I'm saying here let me know in the comments.  I encourage mass debate (tee hee) and hope that while I'm dealing with the issues, I'm also not sounding like Preacher Adrian... and I most certainly hope I can keep you laughing while you're learning.  I'm dealing with a touchy subject here, and part of what this post is about leads me to make a disclaimer up front so people don't get pissed off for me speaking my mind... but it's my right to say what I feel, just like it's their right to disagree with me and get pissed off.  There, now that the hideo friend of our one-night-stand is out of the way, let's get to the good stuff which is why we're all up in here in the first place.
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It's just as ridiculous on the other side of the spectrum

      All too often I run into folks of all colors who try to use PC terms when talking about a race or culture they don't understand slash aren't a part of, and frankly it's kinda ticking my dick off, and not in a good way.  I understand people who use certain terms like the "N" word (no, not "Nachos, you know the one) are racist and use it to express hate.  Meanwhile others mean it as a term of endearment or a way to address they "N's" and it's considered ok... but my rule is if something can be taken as offensive in any way to a group of people, it's best not to use it EVER, cuz you don't know who you're gonna offend while in line at The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.  I mean, you just don't walk into a straight Motorcycle bar in Alabama and go "'Sup my leatherdaddy", cuz you will get beaten and left for dead if not gallons and gallons of judgy side-eye from ole' Rusty Nail and Jimbo.  

Shit, Tyrone... why you ate the last bag of Fritos, again!

     But what's this got to do with anything, you axe?  Well I'm getting there.  My point is that some people use certain words when they shouldn't (like the "N" one), while others use certain words that they shouldn't when they think they should (like the "N" one).  Strangely, some of these words in the latter category are being deemed as acceptable due to certain contexts, but no one seems to be making a fuss about it (like when the snack machine runs out of BBQ Fritos).  Well I'm here to make a fuss, Hobags because BBQ Fritos are essential to my hourly existence, and so is putting people in their place when they don't know any better.  Still not following?  Here be examples of what I'm talking about.

I'll have fried chicken, greens and... Hey, y so many white folk here?

     Shamble me this?  Since when does "Urban" mean "Black", that's like saying Rural means White, or Shithole means Kardashian...well maybe that last one if true, but it's time to change these allegedly PC terms and just tell it like it is... cuz our paranoid culture is so busy trying not to look/sound/be racist, that all we're doing is looking/sounding/and being racist.

     Truth:  People don't say "Oriental" anymore, they say "Bad Driver", or "Liquor Store Owner".  Also, people don't say "Indian" anymore, they say "South Asian" or "Liquor Store Owner"... and cerealously, people don't say "Arab" anymore, they say "Middle Eastern" or "Liquor Store Owner".
     All racist one liners aside, it seems these days the term for those who don't check "Causasian" on that Snack-Loan from the bank are considered "Ethnic".  Come on people, "Not White" doesn't automatically mean ethnic, cuz that's racist against white people for assuming that just because they're not a darker color that they're aren't an ethnicity too, and it's racist to those who aren't white by stripping them of their diversity and jumbling them all into one tidy category of PC racism.  
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Oooh, Gurl... look at dem "ethnic" fashions on those white peoples!  Um, the term is "hideous" boo, mkay?

     For real y'allz, "ethnic" is okay when describing clothing or some other object, but people aren't objects... so stop saying "ethnic" to describe foreign (to you) peoples when you really wanna say Black, or, Chinese, or Mexican, because guess what... if I'm White even though my skin isn't really white, then you're Black even though your skin isn't really black, and you're Mexican because you're from Mexico and you're Chinese because you're from China.  Yes your ancestors came from wherever, so in a way (unless you were legit born in wherever) 6 generations down the line you are Wherever-American... but you're also whatever race you are, so don't get mad at me for saying so.  

Dammit, People... I'm NOT fuqing Mexican!!!

     It's like me getting mad at you for calling me White instead of French-American... yes it sounds prettier to say the latter, yes my ancestors are French, but I don't know them white bitches, and while French-American is true about who I am and who I come from... so is the term "White".  And if you're saying "ethnic" so as to not offend anyone by being wrong about who they are, I applaud your effort, and know you're heart is in the right place (hopefully)... but you can't win for losing on this one because (to me at least) you sound just as racist saying "ethnic" when referring to a person instead of a thing than if you dropped a "Mexican" bomb on somebody from China.
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Gurl, I can soooo relate.

     Now don't get me wrong,  I realize how easy it is for me to sit here on my white ass eating bottomless mac and cheese and judge other people who have perhaps been treated differently all their lives because of the color of their skin... but race isn't the only thing that makes people treat others differently.  
     Trust... I was one gay-ass kid, and I'm sure my parents got shit for it while I (just being a kid) had no idea what it was that made me different anymore than children of different races probably thought twice about the color of their skin until some racist bitch (or in my case, Southern asshole) made a point of it.  Maybe if we were all just like kids and saw people as "my friend" and "that mean girl who stole my jump rope" instead of "my black friend" (like you can only have one) or "Klepto Claudia" (stealing bitch), we would all be able to poop easier and not be so damned tightly wound. 
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Now if this Ethiopian Ferocia lived in Utah, it would make more sense

       Am I suggesting we stop using terms like "African American" and the like, hell no of course not... I'm just suggesting that people not be so touchy about terms, because while you're spending all your energy berating me for saying you're a color, you have no problem saying I'm a color, and in all honestly that energy could be spent out in the world making friends with people of other races... or devouring pizza(s).
     I get it though, people like to be called what they like to be called, and I respect that like a man who can eat a Baconator with extra bacon before a Six Flags date, but we're getting out of hand here, Amuurrica.  

She mustuh outed him to his buddies

     Example I'm familiar with:  Some gays prefer to be called "queer", some prefer "dyke" or "muff diver" (maybe not but you get the point)... it's all Semantics, but if it's what you want it's what you want.  However, no gay dreams of being called "Homosexual", that's like calling a poon "vagina" or ween "penis"...tit's too clinical (tee hee).  
     I realize that gennies are soooo not the same thing as racial identity, but why can't the same basic non-sterilization of genital nomenclature be applied to race?  Black and White sound so much more street that "Latino American" or "European American"... I mean shit, by the time I get the words out half the room is asleep from all those syllables anyway.  Besides, people are starving and dying all over the world, yet your ass is sitting here calling me racist because I didn't put "Phillipino" before "American"... when your name is John Smith and you're from Portland.   
    

I'm sorry, Mr. Grenadine but we can't approve a $24,000 loan for Wendy's... racist bitch

      Do I have different terms in mind I hope we start using instead of "Ethnic" and the like?  No, because that would just be another term that I'm trying to Shambletorial about here... besides, "White", "Black", "Latino", "Asian", "Hobag" and the like suit the world fine.  So what am I suggesting?  Well, simply put...  I say that we Americans and our subcultures need to embrace the lazy within us we all possess regardless of color, and just consider people as people, cuz in the end that's what we all are.  
     What does it matter the color of the person who greeted you at the restaurant or denied your Snack-Loan at Bank of America?  In the end, the greeter was pleasant and the banker was a jerk for not understanding your needs... and more often than not it had nothing to do with who you or they were, nor does it have to do with where your family trees split or how dark the leaves are.  

Fine, you don't like Dora the Explorer... sorry I axed

     In Shamation, Folks please-to lissy up... cuz I don't want you to misquote me here.  You don't have to choose between whether you're American or Wherever-American, no one should make you pick and if they do, they're worse than sugar-free gum on top of an empty keg of Diet Dr. Pepper.  And contrary to what this post may suggest, I have no problem being PC.  Yet I have no problem being un-PC too... but neither should you, because no matter what anyone says, being un-PC DOES NOT a racist make unless those less-than-PC words or whatevers turn to actions or are said with hate behind them.  
     Now whether you agree and want to mail me food rewards or disagree and want to send me King Of Queens DVDs as a form of torture... I'm just one person who loves all (unless you find yourself in a Bitch List post, then there's no saving you), but the rest of the world might not be as loving... no matter what side of said words/actions/whatevers they're on.  And that's what our energy needs to be going towards, Hobags not correcting each other and nitpicking at every little thing or trying to sound right when you don't know what words are wrong.  
     No one is gonna fault you for wanting to learn, but they will hate on a bitch if you don't even try.   If you don't know about something, research it.  If you're unsure of how to refer to someone or something, ask... or use the person's name instead of race (hell, say "guy in gold shirt" instead of "black guy over there in hideous fashions")...  Finally, If something someone does bothers you, speak up... but don't be surprised if they speak up in return.  Compromise and education over single-mindedness and ignorance, peeps... it's the only way to blessed be.