Gross Yuck Cool: Doo Doo Brush

Do. Not. Want!  Guuurl, yuh broff smell like shit!

     Been a hot breathed minute since our last Gross Yuck Cool, but it was well worth the wait cuz you bitches are in for a turd sized treat as this one is anything but shitty.  Ever wondered why that hot little brunette number in your "Yoga for Fatasses" class always has cat-butt breath?  Wanna know why that lezbo in the "All You Can Eat" section of your local Red Lobster has spots all over her teeth?  Yeah, neither do I.  But please-to read on to see what joyous GYC discovery we're in for this time... just make sure you keep the lid closed when you let this shit go down your brain-parts...

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I will kill your family, then I'll haunt your dreamz!

      For those of you who took the short bus to school, if you haven't quite caught on to what the topic is, let me spell it out for you with two tic-tacs, an altoid, and some porcelain cold science.   Every time you drop it like it's hot, or sprinkle spray like it's not and (hopefully) flush the toilet, it results in Poop Dogg water drizzle traveling through the air-parts -- taking gristles of whatever you're flushing with them, and right to your toothbrush or dick cream resting above the sink.  Remember that the next time you're pregnant and didn't know it and go to McDonald's to take a shit.

     Those of us with ween parts know this to be true as when we stand up to Golden Shower into the white bowl containing yesterday's cereal, sometimes we can feel piss flowetry on the folds in our wildebeest legs if we're rocking shorts or (God save us all) we're barefoot in the bafroom.   Don't feel left out though ladies (sexist statement in 3...2...1...) when you clean on and around the toilet you get to peep the pube encrusted truth that what's going in the toilet, also goes outside of it as well.

Guess that research didn't save you from pink eye, Chuck.

   But the spread of toilet water droplets is not limited to just those large enough to feel. Thanks to "the aerosol effect", piss-shit-ass-puke clouds of tiny droplets travel far outside the toilet (up to 8 feet!!) when it's flushed like last night's unwanted baby (too soon?). The shit fling, or aerosol effect was discovered and ruined everyone's life by University of Arizona environmental microbiologist Charles Gerba (that hot mess pictured above) when he published a scientific article in 1975 describing the disturbing results of his tests on bacterial and viral aerosols due to toilet flushing... known to some as the "Dina Lohan can fly theory", now known as the "Paris Hilton effect".

     In no shit (literally) news, while it's true that fecal coliform bacteria are not considered to be a health risk since they're found naturally in the human body (shudder). That doesn't mean it's a good idea to introduce the bacteria into the mouth as their presence outside of the body means that other bacteria like hepatitis A or dysentery could also be present.  So if you flush while Natasha Lyonne is in your bathroom, you're pretty much fuqed.
      The bottom (tee hee) line is; don't leave toothbrushes exposed in the bath room, dumbass. They should be covered and protected and the toilet lid should be closed before flushing.  Unless of course you're like that brown haired bitch in Yoga, that lez in Red Lobster, or some gay dudes/freak ass Hobags that like giving rim jobs (SHUDDER SHAMBLES SHUDDER!) and you like harboring Mr Hanky and his jizz parts in your mouth.