Is It In Yet? - Racebook

Open up, this hand needs a tan (Gross Poop Joke Shambles).

     Yo Yo Hobags, slut-rods, and little Baconators (like little Monsters but not, get it?).  The preceeding lameness aside, it is once again I, Adrian Grenadine: master of Shambles and bacon, here to bring you another edition of Is It In Yet?.  I hope your back-shoots are puckered and ready for insertion because this time, we're throwing out all the Depends undergarments and bringing some Suri-Cruise-ious issues to the snack covered table.  If you're easily offended, look the other way and get the hell off my site, we don't take kindly to your types 'round here... but if you don't mind a little harmless racism chat, then click on that "read more" link and get your ass in here A-Stat!...


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Is it in yet???... RACIST SEARCH ENGINES!

NAME: Sam, RACE: White, ETC: Behind me, RESULT: Sam Jaeger. YES!

     Picture it, some hot number walks into your office, the two of you chat for a bit and then the convo ends and he doesn't stick it in you because you're not a chick... how to do you stalk this hottie and look for shirtless pics of him on Facebook if all you know is his first name or where he works or one small information fact about him that no amount of searching on IMDB or Twitter or whatever you do will lead to discovering his true identity and hopefully seeing that bare torso slash learning if he smokes weens or not informations?  Fret not, little Baconators... I've got the idea to end all this stalker drama.  Racist search, and it both needs to be a thing, and needs to be in like all but one designer each week on Project Runway.

Right, cuz Italians cook pissa & Black ppl play Baseball... oh wait.

     Please-to let me explain further.  Racist search, or "Racebook" as I'm dubbing it, is NOT the already thing that deals with horse racing or whatever, it's stalking people on Facebook by race.  You see a hot guy, know his first name and race, type it in to narrow your search.  You don't know how many "Lukes" I had to sift through before I found the one I was trying to poke.  I can't believe how many "Toms" there are in the Facebookiverse in just Los Angeles alone who like Mad Men and work at Paramount.  Is it true that adding race to the search results won't always lead you to who you're looking for?  Yes, but if you know someone's a fan of something with millions of fans, and you narrow away all but the race you're looking for, something tells me your search is gonna be a LOT easier than if you just go through all the names... especially if you're looking for a white guy who works at the Oprah Winfrey Network and likes fried chicken.

Still not the same thing, but definitely MORE offensive!

      In shammation, while I don't condone racial segregation, I do think Racebook would be a great help in my life's mission to stalk out hotties I barely know to the point where I can make it seem like I just happen to like what they like slash know their favorite things to make us seem like we're super compatible.  Pathetic and creepy?  Perhaps... but while you're sitting there judging me like a skinny bitch eyeing a stick of butter, I've got beach pics, underwear shots, and plenty of other masturbatory material on that hottie down the hall, all you've got is a nice body that other weirdos like me are probz using Racebook to peep fleshy pics of.  So there!