Shambletta Stone: Terms to Know

Dude, my dick is bigger than ur torso.  And?  At least I'm tall.

     Like a baby dick you can't stop looking at that just wets your appetite for more deep penny, I'm introducing a series of recurring (like herpes, get it?) yet rando mini-posts from now on that will keep you informed and on your hands and knees long enough to satisfy them carnal desires until the next full-post comes along (all over your face).  So to start it all off, it's time you learned the vocab we use.  But honestly, if you don't know it by now, not only should you be shot but you should make flash cards too cuz the Shamcabulary is only gonna keep growing like a pedo dick at Chuck E Cheese..  Now jump up in this shit Stay Tuned style to peep this first edition Shambletta Stone...
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     Once a month or so we'll have another list of vocab words, but for now these lucky 13 should suffice in making you seem cooler than you really are.
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Happy Shamblirthday, FML Cat.  U got Shambles again, Okuur?

Penetration Mark - Words of expression used at the end of a sentence or phrase to get deep down into the nethers of what you're saying.  [EX: Hunty (honey!), Okurr (okay Girl?)]

Shambles - 1: [Penetration mark] used to mean "bad shit".  2: When shit goes bad.  3: The G-rated version of FML.  4: Also known as: "my life".

FML - 1: [Penetration mark] used to mean "shambles".  2: used when shit goes more sour than a lemon juice covered dick.

Ugly Betty Moment -  An event that occurs resulting in embarrassment or desire to shout FML to the heavens.  Usually happens in front of a hottie you're crushing on, or attractive people who make more money than you and replenish their electrolytes by making you hate your life.  Rare positive cases end in joy that would not have come had a life lesson not been learned during said moment.

Shambnomic Device - Inserting (tee hee) the word "Shambles" into reggo boring English words for added effect.  EX:  Deshambledpressed (copy-write Kiki), Shamblexicon, Unshambletteable (copy-write Cat Lady V), and Shamblirthday (Copy-write Maury Hoebitch)

Oh, Gurl... please-to be a joke.  Bless!

Bless - [Penetration Mark] used to signal sympathy for someone who needs it. 2: the verbal laying of hands used to wish help upon some unfortunate train wreck person and/or fashion disaster.

Please-to - 1: Would you please... as in "Please-to supersize those fries".

Jaundy - Tan, getting tan, the act of darkening.  (as in Jaundiced). 

Juiced - Got fat, as in "damn bitch she got juiced as hell".

Precious - Train wreck tragedy fat.  See: "Juiced", "Adrian Grenadine", or "my life".

Gennies - Dix, pussays... short for "genitals".

Penny - Stickin' it in hobag style... short for "penetration".  Also known as simply "tration".

A-stravaganza - (copy-write Hefty Hanna, PLL episode 207)  A knock down shit fight crazy ass event where murder-texting, hideo fashions, and/or glamping debris are sure to be peeped.

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     There you go, your terms in this month's Shambletta Stone.  Now learn 'em, love 'em, and eat 'em.  Cuz if you don't, you're gonna be more LOST than the writers on Pretty Little Liars this season combined with dem dead bitches stuck on that Mysterious Island.  And I can't be associating with losers with sand up they cooches.  It's not in my Shamstitution.