Nerd Alert! The 90's Are Back Like Crabs

Bitches represent!

     Hey tit mongers... today's a weird day and I'm not up to my usual sass, so unless it's attached to you and looks like a ween, don't hold that against me.  Lots of video links in this week's Nerd Alert, so I hope you're someplace (like a Gynecologist's Office) that you can have a look around without things getting too messy.  So please-to glove up, assume the position, and prepare for me to stick these suggestions of the top 5 food groups of awesome into your gaping eye-ear-brain parts...
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BOOK:   The Cobra Event

Replace Snake with Me & man with Buffet, and it's just as dangerous

     From Richard Langston, the author of The Hot Zone, comes another terrifying tale of "We fuqed and gonna die" proportions about a bioterrorist who's killin' fux with some powder that makes you lose your mind and eat yourself (one scene in particular has one of our characters peeling off his own face and eating it... nom shambles).  Yeah, definitely a good bedtime story for little Bonequifa and Chewbaquina this novel is not.

     All stank nastay aside though, this shit (published in 1998) reads faster than a drag queen at a fashions show, and is just as unsettling to take in (but in a good way).  I'm not the biggest loser in the world when it comes to gore or nerdy science geek shit like this, but it's not nerdy.  It's dramz in the face of dane-juh, and there's also some dead kids too.  So please-to put on that bio suit fashion and strut your chunky ass to the nearest Borders (bankruptcy too soon Shambles?) and check out this terrifying tale which has nothing to do with snakes.

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TV:   Popular

Beverly Hills 43270

     This is the show I thought Glee was gonna be but wasn't.  From Ryan Murphy, the douchelord who brought us said singing tragedy, Popular was and is, the shit.  The fashions are 90's, the bitchy is fetch, and the cast is full of some folks you'll recognize (Christopher Gorham, Chad Lowe for 2 seconds, bad Cop from PLL season 1, Sara Rue.. and others).  This shit takes place in Ohio, and is about a boring bitch with a stoopid zigzag part, and a dumb whiny boring bitch with PLL Aria megabrows and gums the size of Precious' ass who hate each other... then their parents get married and they're sisters now (tre' trazyic!) 
     All that premise shit and a cheesy pilot episode aside though, the real magic happens when the boring bitch's friends try to co-mingle in the Novak (woman's bathroom of faboosh with pics of homecoming queens past and named after Kim Novak) and turn it out as the Glamazons (cheerleading team).  On the popular side we've got the goddesses of gay awesome that are Mary Cherry and Nicole, plus Josh and Sugar Daddy Bernadino... on the losers side we've got a whole lot of boring in Lilly, and (yum) Harrison, plus Carmen.  But let's not forget Miss Glass Sir, April Tuna, and Popita Fresh.  Not to mention guest parts by RuPaul, Delta Burke, gaywads Clea Duvall and Wentworth Miller, plus Jane Lynch.  The zingers on this show are "very Gweneth", and if you haven't taken in the two seasons of awesome yet, get your ass on Netflix demand NOW and change that!  
     Here's a clip of awesome between Mary Cherry and Nicole to wet your appy.

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MUSIC:   Tilly & The Wall

Dingo stole my hipster.  Now tap it out, tap it out.

     Beats are hot, fashions are luke warm (uber hipsters, meh), but the group is awesome.  I've seen these fux live twice and it was great both times.  But guess what?  Sans like a song or two, they don't have a drummer.  Say what?  Don't fret, the beats still get laid down... by a tap dancer.  That's right... Hobag changes her shoes and the surface she's tapping on to get different sounds, plus the band claps and does like a step show on stage to get your tushy shakin'... Oh and they were on Sesame Street so go them.  
     It all sounds gimmicky I know, but it's a gimmick that works... and it's fun, happy, catchy-like-an-STD fun.  Not to mention I wanna bone like everybody in the band for different reasons of "they're awesome".  I'm most drawn to singer Kianna Alarid (awesome name, pixie blond in pic above), and the keyboard guy (far left in pic above).  Here be a video below for one of their hits "Alligator Skin"... and like the pedo's side of the story, it's def worth a listen.

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MOVIE:   Overnight Delivery

Artwork brought to you by a 12 year old with Photoshop

     What do you get when you add the 90's, baby Reese Witherspoon, baby Paul Rudd, and a script that on paper makes you wanna shoot yourself but in motion makes you wish you were shooting blanks?  Why it's 1998's Overnight Delivery, and even though I hate romantic "comedies", this one's well worth a peep.  
     Rudd's stupid character named "Wyatt Tripps" AKA just "Tripps" think his hobag GF Kim (Christine Taylor) is cheating on him, so his new escandalo friend Ivy (Reese Dubs) convinces him to send a package with a pic of the two of them being salacious and a pretend used condom with a nasty breakup note attached for Valentine's day to GF's dorm.  Once the jig is up and Tripps realizes he misunderstood his informations, he and Ivy set out (in her rickshaw or whatever it's called) on a hijinx filled journey to intercept the package before it arrives in the morning.  
     It's light fare at best, and totally predictable what will happen in the end... but the journey is a nice little ride with people who's careers weren't that humongo yet so they seem humble.  Oh and you get to see Paul Rudd's butt so #winning!  Peep the shitty quality trailer below for confirmation of all of the above, including Reese's weird random hairdids and fashions.

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AWESOME:   TotallyJeremy/Tenderbot Youtube Page

    I know Jeremy from my days back in North Carolina, and boy am I a fan of his work.  He is needs be to get his ass to the Shamblette's stat cuz homeboy is talented and funny as hell.  He and his side kick Ferocia crew got musical talz too as you'll witness in the video clip below.  He started out as totallyjeremy on youtube, now he and the Feorica Twins are known as Tenderbot.  
    Notable standout other than his music videos are... "Jennifer's Bloggy".  These are vids about a pre-teenish girl who loves Twilight whilst blogging about shit and her annoying slash retarded brother Ricky makes fun of her from off camera.  Another fave is the "telephone" video where J and a pal pretend to be Beyonce and Lady Gaga (linked below).  But don't let my shitty word be your only proof, check out his stuff and see if you're not at least mildly amused by his awesome (and just try to get the snuggy Huggy Xmas song outta your headparts).

     If you like this, there's also Turkey Murder and Pumpkins of the Night; equally catchy, equally awkward and great.  Now-to please-to peep the Beyonce blooper reel HERE.