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| AIR! That's right, Sonora. Air. Now try to guess what this is. RAPE! |
Hey diknommers and coochsamplers, bringing out the horse hung big guns this time for another edition of "Is That A Thing?". This ITAT was brought to my attention by a coworker a week or so ago, and ever sense then I can't stop rolling my eyes at thez doods. So get out your filing cabinets and prepare to add to the "Gay Hipster Dad" section, cuz we be discussin' a topic this week that's borderline homosexshul, borderline shortbus, and all kindsa making me say "nay" when asked if I'm down with this rainbow colored Mr. Ed bullshit. So take the jump over the fence with me horse-jumping style and let's hope, unlike Senora Webster in Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken, that we (SPOILER) don't go blind from the task at hand...
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Bronies - AKA Dudes Who Luz "My Little Pony" (eye roll)
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| Planet Unicorn, Heyy wait a minute. Just as gay but not the same! (Lies and Deception Shambles) |
Anyone with a memory better than Guy Pierce's in Memento knows I'm not gonna hate on someone for liking something that isn't my cup of tea (MMM Trader Joe's sweet tea)... but come on now. MLP is no Planet Unicorn, heyyyyy. Am I hatin' on these doods for liking something that's all rainbowey and intended for younger girls to like? Please, if I did that I'd be the biggest hypocrite this side of Bristol Palin (Pretty Little Liars...hello). But some of these doodz are going crazy overboard with their love for MLP like it's a triple Baconator served by True Blood's Pam and PLL's Mona. It's one thing to like something and talk/blog about it all the time, it's another to think you're cooler than someone for liking something "hip" to the point where I want to pull my own face off and nom it Cobra Event style (coming to a Nerd Alert! book section post near you soon).
But let me try and be un-biased-sexual here by just letting a Bronie speak for himself about the joys of this sub-culture from a WIRED.com article I came across and wanted to kill myself after reading the first two paragraphs of (my added comments are in BOLD):
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| How is he skinnier than me? (FML Shambles) |
Out-of-work [shocker] computer programmer [shocker] Luke Allen [pictured above] self-medicates by watching animated ponies have magical adventures. The 32-year-old, who lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico loves his daily fix of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, and he’s not alone.
“First we can’t believe this show is so good, then we can’t believe we’ve become fans for life, then we can’t believe we’re walking down the pink aisle at Toys R Us or asking for the girl’s toy in our Happy Meal,” Allen said in an e-mail to Wired.com. “Then we can’t believe our friends haven’t seen it yet, then we can’t believe they’re becoming bronies too.” [Well, Luke, what I can't believe is how repetitive and shitty your quotes are.]
.... My Little Pony creations have taken off in other areas as well. On Equestria Daily [I fuqing refuse to link to that], a fan blog that on first blush could be mistaken for a fifth-grade girl’s locker door, site curator Shaun (he asked that his last name be withheld) [wonder why?, pictured below] struggled to find a half-dozen pieces of art to post in a given day back in January. He now claims he can easily fill a post with 30 images. [Like I can fill my mouth with 30 Chicken Nuggets a minute? Big Fuqing deal, Shaun Noname]
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| Hey Shaun, Glee wants their Chris Colfer back (kill yourself). |
Yeah ok you get the point.... NERD ALERT!. But hey, to each their own (or whatever), I'm just here to prove that yes, "Bronies" are in fact a stupid thing. And if for some reason you want to read the entire WIRED article slash I'm posting it for journalistic integrity or whatever... the link is HERE. Now let me end this tragedy as I can't be wasting my time on this pre-teen-girl, older man watching weirdo shit... besides Pretty Little Liars is on tonight and I need to focus on that redux instead (irony shambles).
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